Readers of Voices, IISc’s newsletter, may be familiar with the fictitious Prof Palayanteeswaran, aka Pally. Connect brings you an all-new episode.
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From : Ajay Thakur <ajay.thakur@iitd.ac.in>
To : Prof. Palayanteeshwaran <pally@iisc.ac.in>
Subject : Request to use the IISc mass spectrometry facility
Date : Mon, January 1, 2018, 2:45pm
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Dear Prof. Pally,
I have recently joined as a faculty in Chemical Engineering at IIT Delhi. I work on developing nanoparticle-based drug delivery.
I would like to use the IISc mass spectrometry facility for a crucial experiment. Could you please tell me what is the procedure for getting access etc?
Thanks,
Ajay
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From : Ajay Thakur <ajay.thakur@iitd.ac.in>
To : Prof. Palayanteeshwaran <pally@iisc.ac.in>
Subject : Re: Fwd: Request to use the IISc mass spectrometry facility
Date : Friday, January 12, 2018, 10.00am
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Dear Prof. Palayanteeshwaran,
Thank you for talking to me on phone and clarifying many things regarding my request.
I am attaching my formal project proposal for using the facility. As you requested, I will get approval from my Chairman, Dean, Deputy Director, Director and also from DST. I sincerely hope that all this happens before my kids grow up.
Finally, I would be happy to include you as the corresponding author on this work, in return for letting me use your mass spectrometry facility, since you have invested so much effort in building this national facility. It will be my honor to have a publication with you.
Yours Sincerely,
Ajay Thakur
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From : Ajayan Thakuraparambilan <ajay.bharatiyar@gmail.com>
To : Prof. Palayanteeshwaran <pally@iisc.ac.in>
Subject : Re: Fwd: Request to use the IISc mass spectrometry facility
Date : Monday, January 15, 2018, 10.00am
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Dear Prof. Palayanteeshwaran Sir,
Greetings from Tamilnadu! I am a faculty here at Bharatidasan University, Tamilnadu. My HOD Prof. Bhaskaran asked me to contact you about using your mass spectrometry facility at IISc. I still remember vividly how you had enthralled our college with your spectacular research in physically inspired chemical nanobiology and it will be a dream come true for my name to appear alongside an eminent scientist like you. I eagerly look forward to your advice on how to proceed Sir.
Yours Sincerely
Ajayan
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From : Prof. Palayanteeshwaran <pally@iisc.ac.in>
To : Ajayan Thakuraparambilan <ajay.bharatiyar@gmail.com>
Subject : Re: Fwd: Request to use the IISc mass spectrometry facility
Date : Monday, January 15, 2018, 11.00am
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Dear Ajayan,
Nice to hear from you. Please get in touch with my assistant Srinivasa Murthy who will give you access to the facility.
-Pally
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From : Ajayan Thakuraparambilan <ajay.bharatiyar@gmail.com>
To : Anuj Srivatsava <anuj@iisc.ac.in>
Subject : Re: Fwd: Request to use the IISc mass spectrometry facility
Date : Monday, January 15, 2018, 11.15am
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Hi Anuj
Dude you have no idea what kind of party I owe you man. Changing my name, university, dropping Bhaskaran’s name, and praising him….kya crack maara bey! He immediately gave me access!
I now realize that my career is more important than my Thakurhood. Accordingly I have started wearing a lungi every day and eating idly-vada at home. If my experiment is successful I will even eat curd rice every day and start learning proper Iyengar Tamil so that I can impress Pally and gain unlimited access to the facility.
Thanks again
Ajay Thakur…I mean Ajayan Thakuraparambilan
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From : Prof. Palayanteeshwaran <pally@iisc.ac.in>
To : Ajay Mathur <ajay.mathur@dst.nic.in>
Subject : Second & Third year funds for Posh Centre at IISc
Date : Thursday, January 18 2018, 10.30am
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Dear Dr. Mathur
As you know our Department of Chemically Inspired Physical Nanobiology (CIPN) was established with the generous support of DST. May I remind you how delighted you were to find all keywords desired by DST in one single department name. You were talking about it all day and we didn’t even have time for me to present my proposal.
Sir, we have not received any funds after the first year and we cannot run the facility any more. Yet even this week I got requests from IIT Delhi and Bharatidasan University. Could you please release our 2nd and 3rd year of funds as soon as possible?
Yours Sincerely,
Pally
—
Prof. Katrinivalakeshwarasrinivasahareramakrishna Palayanteeswaran
Professor and Lifetime Chair,
Department of Chemically Inspired Physical Nanobiology
IISc Bangalore
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From : Prof. Palayanteeshwaran <pally@iisc.ac.in>
To : Ajay Mathur <ajay.mathur@dst.nic.in>
Subject : Second & Third year funds for Posh Centre at IISc
Date : Friday January 26 2018, 3.00pm
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Dear Dr Mathur
Thank you for talking to me on the phone today. I am very happy to hear your assurance that funds will be transferred soon.
Also I would be delighted to give my strongest letter of recommendation for your daughter Shruthi, who I have never seen until now. I am sure she will get into Cambridge.
Yours Sincerely
Pally
*SP Arun is Associate Professor at the Centre for Neuroscience
